It's here!

So, for the longest time, I have been oblivious to my countdown to college on FaceBook and, seeing as this is my second time beginning at a new school, I never really thought of it as being 'new' or 'different.'  But now, one day before I leave, I realized that there might be something else I want to do.  So much inspires me and so many things pull me in weird directions, that it can be hard to justify what exactly I want to do.  So, whilst my heart and brain go to war on this subject, I realize that there is no turning back now...  That what I am going to school for is practical, and what I 'really want to do' will probably never happen.  Here's the story:

I don't watch a lot of television.  I never did, and I probably never will.  I am always too busy doing something (work, school, a combination of the two), and I feel that if I sit down and watch something, I will get too in to the show.  Now, this has only happened to me on three occasions:  while watching Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America, while watching House with some friends, and while watching Weeds.  And, saying that, my writing as blown up...  In a metaphorical sense, at least.  I guess you could say that my ideas grew more so than my writing.  I still can't write for shit, and my trying would just result in some fabulously epic failure.  But, while watching Weeds, I saw something change, and as weird as that may sound, I found me.  Or who I think I can be writing-wise.  There have always been these crazy ideas streaming in and out of my head, but depending on where I was in life, I either wrote them down and forgot about them, or forgot to write them down and forgot about them.  I'm 18-years-old, now, and for once, I feel as though I actually have a good idea.  Keep in mind, this is just the part of my rant that relates to writing.

Now, on to the other part:  Acting.  I never really saw myself as an actress.  My parents did, and took me to multiple agents when I was younger, but nothing really ever came out of it.  And, for the most part, I'm glad.  I watch a show like Weeds where Allie Grant plays Celia Hodes' 11-year-old daughter, Isabelle, and I see how grown up she is.  And while I have always been mature for my age, it was more in the advice-giving sense, not necessarily the 'understanding the world' sense.  But I've grown up now.  Moved away from home, moved back...  And now moving away again, and there is this new part of me that just wants to act...  In everything.  Movies, television, theatre.  I know I can do it, it's just a matter of me getting the parts.  

Ahh, well, there you have it.  A lot has been going on, but I'm excited for the changes. 

xx

Moving, moving

I move in 15 days.  Quite frankly what I'm feeling right now is exactly the same as what I was feeling when I went to Brooks...  Which is weird.  Because when I went to Brooks, I had a car.  I knew I could come home whenever I wanted.  But at Academy of Art, I won't be able to do that.  I'll have to shell out $100 every time I want to come home.  Oh well.  This school is the best thing for me, and I know that.  I have to do this.

While on the subject of school, I would loooove to know why Academy of Art is called Academy of Art UNIVERSITY.  Isn't it kinda dumb to have Academy and University in the same title?  I think so.  

Well, at the moment I am at work, and it is probably my last week here...  Seeing as I move in two weeks.  There is A LOT going on in my family life, friend life, work life, and before I leave, I would love a little break.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for leading a buys life; it's what I do.  But I would love a break from everything.  

I'm hoping to go to Santa Barbara some time in the coming weeks.  I miss that place a lot more than I ever have.  It was my home for a year, and although I said I hated it for the majority of the time, I really did love it.  It was fun and different, and there was always some new place to explore.  Hey, that's how Karissa, Cody and I found the 154 up to the Glass Factory, and we know that was never a bust.  I kind of grew into myself there, and I will always think of it as my home away from home.

Granted, the only reason why I go up there now, is to visit Karissa and Cody and hopefully in two years they will move up to San Francisco!  That would be the most amazing thing ever.

Well, that's all for now.  xx!

Swell Season

Ahh, look at me updating my blog in a relatively timely manner.  Fun stuff, man.  Fun stuff...  Now on to it:

Thinking, in my head at least, is never a good thing.  It always leads to doubts; never approvals or reassurances that everything will be fine.  No.  Instead, I think about what I will miss...  And what bad things could happen.  Of course, nothing bad ever does happen, but still, the thought is always there.  It's like the supreme 'What If' moment of my life.  In my freaking head.

In 22 days I will begin college...  Again.  I know this time I've got it right.  Studying what I should have been studying all along, doing what I love, in a city I LOVE.  Leaving my friends and family will be hard, just as it was when I moved away the first time, but I will get through it.  Just as I did before.  I'm really, really excited and can't wait to be on my own again.

I'll write more later.  I want to watch the rest of Annie Hall on YouTube.  :) 

xx