It's here!

So, for the longest time, I have been oblivious to my countdown to college on FaceBook and, seeing as this is my second time beginning at a new school, I never really thought of it as being 'new' or 'different.'  But now, one day before I leave, I realized that there might be something else I want to do.  So much inspires me and so many things pull me in weird directions, that it can be hard to justify what exactly I want to do.  So, whilst my heart and brain go to war on this subject, I realize that there is no turning back now...  That what I am going to school for is practical, and what I 'really want to do' will probably never happen.  Here's the story:

I don't watch a lot of television.  I never did, and I probably never will.  I am always too busy doing something (work, school, a combination of the two), and I feel that if I sit down and watch something, I will get too in to the show.  Now, this has only happened to me on three occasions:  while watching Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America, while watching House with some friends, and while watching Weeds.  And, saying that, my writing as blown up...  In a metaphorical sense, at least.  I guess you could say that my ideas grew more so than my writing.  I still can't write for shit, and my trying would just result in some fabulously epic failure.  But, while watching Weeds, I saw something change, and as weird as that may sound, I found me.  Or who I think I can be writing-wise.  There have always been these crazy ideas streaming in and out of my head, but depending on where I was in life, I either wrote them down and forgot about them, or forgot to write them down and forgot about them.  I'm 18-years-old, now, and for once, I feel as though I actually have a good idea.  Keep in mind, this is just the part of my rant that relates to writing.

Now, on to the other part:  Acting.  I never really saw myself as an actress.  My parents did, and took me to multiple agents when I was younger, but nothing really ever came out of it.  And, for the most part, I'm glad.  I watch a show like Weeds where Allie Grant plays Celia Hodes' 11-year-old daughter, Isabelle, and I see how grown up she is.  And while I have always been mature for my age, it was more in the advice-giving sense, not necessarily the 'understanding the world' sense.  But I've grown up now.  Moved away from home, moved back...  And now moving away again, and there is this new part of me that just wants to act...  In everything.  Movies, television, theatre.  I know I can do it, it's just a matter of me getting the parts.  

Ahh, well, there you have it.  A lot has been going on, but I'm excited for the changes. 

xx